The top 10 weirdest search terms found during keyword research

Emma Rose

Creative Director

When you spend a lot of time doing keyword research, you’ll come across some bizarre questions that people are asking Google.

It reminds you that there are some… interesting people out there. We’ve compiled some of the funniest, weirdest, and scariest search terms ever to grace the internet.

‘my cat wants to kill me’

My cat wants to kill me illustration

Not entirely surprising seeing as cats can be evil at times, but it’s worrying that this many people think their cat is secretly plotting their death.

‘who ate all the bananas and took a dump in the hallway’

This is oddly specific. After a bit of digging, we found it comes from a comic strip about a monkey… so that sort of makes sense. Mystery solved.

‘i accidentally killed my cat in the dryer’

Wow. There’s a lot of people are searching for this. Turns out that cats tend to sleep in dryers unnoticed, hence the tragedies. That being said, if your cat is plotting to kill you, it might be best to strike first anyway.

‘are babies dishwasher safe’

Erm, no. No they are not.

‘is there a spell to become a mermaid that actually works’

Hmm. Not sure where to start with this one. Perhaps people were disillusioned with The Little Mermaid.

‘there is a deer in my car’

These people have problems. Not only do they have deer in their cars for some reason, but they’re hoping the situation will improve if they simply tell Google about it.

‘am i a vampire’

This is a concern considering the search volume (average monthly search volume according to ahrefs.com: 720)

Hopefully the answer is no.

‘never put a wig on a dog’

Good advice I guess – the dogs would definitely appreciate it.

‘germany is in what country’

Oh internet. What is wrong with you!?

‘what to do if a dolphin wants to mate with me’

Is this a common problem? I’m guessing the solution is to try and swim away… but I don’t know.

We hope you enjoyed that. If we’ve missed any great search queries, let us know on social media – we always want to hear more.

And if you want to learn more about keyword research and other SEO tasks, take a look at our SEO training courses.